what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

Womans profesional lacrosse

Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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