Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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TELL

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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