What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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