yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The Detroit Lions

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops