Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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