A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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42

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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