how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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What is funny about family guy?the jokes

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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