Samraj.

What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

I killed someone today. :D

What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...