Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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Dusters blow stuff.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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