Hello, nice to meet you.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Ju... Just why?

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Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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2 Penises

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops