What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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69

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops