What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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TOBUSCUS

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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