A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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