A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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Justin Bieber got laid

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Gangnam style

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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