What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

why did the ginger get made fun of? because he had red hair

Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

Whats worse then people People copying other Anti-Jokes. People copying other Anti-Jokes about the holocaust.

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

how did the man die he didnt

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Why did the book disappear?

nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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