What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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