Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -8

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops