When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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hi michael

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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Give me thumbs up!

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops