A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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What's clear and wet? water

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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