there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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black people - basketball rednecks- nascar mexicans- soccer asians- uuuuuh I don't know can i get a hint

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What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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