What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

raping black women

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops