"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Dylan is gay

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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