What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Sac

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Penis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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9

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops