what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

brandon ya twwat

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does a printer work? You plug it in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dusters blow stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops