What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Grammer is very important

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Chicken penis.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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