SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

TELL

I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

the WNBA

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

HEY YOU!!!!

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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