Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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