What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Sac

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Penis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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