what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

thumb_up thumb_down +41

yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +41

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is White over Black? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops