Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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