Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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nba live 13

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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Twenty-Four

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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