Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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