What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops