What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Knock knock. Death.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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