thumbs up!

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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try slamming a revolving door

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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