Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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