Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Hello, nice to meet you.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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