Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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Twenty-Four

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops