how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Your mama's so fat.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Women's rights.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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Chicken

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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