"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops