A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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rebecca is a hard worker

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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Dogs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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