What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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