hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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Women.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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