White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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whats long and green? weed

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Womens rights !

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What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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