Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

5

A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

knock knock whose there? my penis.

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...