A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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No!

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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