How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Jellybeans

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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