What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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what has genitial warts? me

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TRICERATOPS!

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops