When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops