What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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I've got a dig bick

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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