What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Mitch

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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